1 Corinthians 7
1 Now with regard to the issues you wrote about: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”
2 But because of immoralities, each man should have relations with his own wife and each woman with her own husband.
3 A husband should give to his wife her sexual rights, and likewise a wife to her husband.
4 It is not the wife who has the rights to her own body, but the husband. In the same way, it is not the husband who has the rights to his own body, but the wife.
5 Do not deprive each other, except by mutual agreement for a specified time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then resume your relationship, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control (New English Translation)
King James Version of the Bible rendered verse 3 thus
1 Corinthians 7
3. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.
The phrase "Due Benevolence" literally means in its Greek origin "The affection that one owes" and it is used in relation to sexual rights, privileges and responsibilities in marriage.
Apostle Paul addressed the specific issue of sexual immorality in the church at Corinth against the background of the issue that he earlier addressed in chapter 5 .
1 Corinthians 5
1. It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father's wife.
Of course, besides the instruction he gave them to deal with the specific issue referred to, it is in order that the church learn also what to do to prevent and how to handle such issues going forward.
The question is what has God provided to handle such a situation particularly where self control and the gift of celibacy are excluded? The answer is what prompted chapter 7 of the letter.
The solution is for every man to have his own wife and every woman her own husband. Of course, our experience of marriage hasn't given such assurance that once you're married, you can't ever commit sexual immorality. But that's our own kind of marriage, which is dysfunctional, because ordinarily, if Adam had a need for sexual satisfaction, he naturally won't seek it anywhere else outside of Eve, he had no choice.
I believe the apostle didn't say this carelessly or without been inspired to say so. Not following the instruction of 1Corinthians 7:1-5 may actually be the reason why we haven't been able to solve the problems of sexual immorality in the church.
God locked up sex within a monogamous heterosexual marital union of a male and a female human adults. That is the fundamental and exclusive source of and solution for sexual satisfaction. It means every time a man or a woman is pressed or tempted to have sex, the solution is with his or her married mate. Each should have his or her own wife or husband.
According to the instructions above, every husband owes his wife her right to sexual fulfilment and every wife owes her husband his right to sexual fulfillment. It will be wrong to deprive each other for whatever reason and it will be wrong to push a spouse to sin in seeking sexual satisfaction elsewhere. When tempted or aroused, the satisfaction lies with the spouse, it is a right that should be willingly and affectionately given.
But it is called affection or benevolence and not malevolence. It shouldn't be rape, it should be something that can be asked for and given based on mutual communication and communion and when it won't be given, it should be discussed and an agreement arrived at. We don't have a right to rape our spouses, but they have a responsibility to help diffuse our sexual pressures.
Now we should also understand that helping a spouse is beyond sexual intercourse. Marriage offers the opportunity for the couple to have an intimate environment to discuss sexual matters without restrictions, being naked and not being ashamed. It offers the ears to hear the temptations and the frustrations a spouse is experiencing sexually and to seek mutual solutions together that will save the union and preserve their holiness towards God.
If you are being tempted to get into sexual intimacy with another person, sharing such with your spouse may be a deterrent. I understand that many people may not be mature enough to act beyond the jealousy of such feelings to appreciate the recognition accorded to be intimated with such an information and role. But then, we must grow up, marriage is for grown ups who see the sexual sanctity of their spouses as their responsibility.
Instead of saying things like, "Oh, so you've been thinking of sleeping with my sister?", you should rather see your husband as being in need of help and particularly, your help. And same goes with the husband. We owe each other that much! If we are to be naked and not be ashamed. The help however exclude seeking sleeping partners for your spouse in stark lack of recognition for God, but personally rising up to the occasion of helping your spouse by providing the satisfaction needed and to overcome the temptations.
Now, when the man of God said, the right to our bodies is not ours but that of our spouses, I'm sure he said that with all due respect to the fact that our bodies belong to God as temple of the Holy Spirit bought by the blood of Jesus Christ. It is the Holy Spirit that gives us the right to His temple that our spouses hold in trust, that it their bodies and so we must handle it with a sense of responsibility and recognition for the real owner, the Holy Spirit. We must be careful not to do with our spouse's bodies things that may constitute defilement before God.
But in all, we must live with our spouses with the understanding that whenever they are in need of sexual satisfaction, we have the responsibility of giving it and that they have a right to ask for it except we both agree to abstain. It'll be wickedness to deprive each other.
You'll agree with me that we have genuine reasons not to want to have sex at all sometimes. This may be due to our emotional state a times. We transfer frustrations from other areas of life into our marital bed and render the bed contemptible. This shouldn't be. That you are having financial, job, work place frustrations should actually be the reason to seek intimacy with your spouse. It isn't a sign of weakness to fall back into the laps of your wife or into the arms of your husband when you fail on the streets. That's what God intends both the laps and the arms to provide at such times.
It is also worthy of note that when there's disaffection between spouses, and they had hurt each other, the last thing one would want is sex. It means we should resolve conflicts and hurts quickly before they bring dysfunction into the bed and push someone into seeking satisfaction elsewhere and to sin against God.
I believe we need to walk circumspectly as wise people. Let's work on our marriages, God has given us that as a safety net. If we seek to overcome sexual sins, here is our Biblical recommendation which we must never despise rather work with to build a union that would be a stronghold against the invasion of immorality on God's heritage.
Good morning and have a wonderful love filled weekend!
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