The Saga of Forgiving and Forgetting

The Saga of Forgiving and Forgeting!
Many times we demand of people to forget wrong suffered and to forgive. The reality is that inability to forget as demanded makes nonsense of their willingness to forgive which is actually easier as a matter of the will. Their conscience still blame them for remembering but how could a raped woman or the wife of a murdered man forget? The scars remains and if remembering is equal to not forgiving then as long as those scars remain such has no capacity to forgive.
Meanwhile forgiving is possible with the scars and that's what we are called to do. The scars tells the story and become the trophy we have to show the winning power of forgiveness. The scars tell the story of the battle we fought and won and everytime we remember it is of the joy of triumph and not of the sorrows of the pains we once suffered. 
If whenever we see the scars we still feel the pains then our forgiveness isn't complete or perfect yet. It is forgiving we have to do and not forgetting.
We may forget without forgiving meaning whenever we remember we recall the pains too and bitterness and vengeance fill the heart. We may experience joy momentarily when we forget but as soon as we remember the pains and the sorrows resuscitate and the scab falls of the wound and the wound comes out fresh again with all its pains. Such sores smell. And the pains unending, they only get healed when we forgive.
So we strive to forgive even with the freshness of the negative event and so heal our heart and remembering would be nothing but pouring the balm on a scar, soothing but not hurting!
We get hurt. One of human weaknesses, and that we remember clearly and we always need great efforts to be able to forgive. Not so when we hurt others. We need lots of efforts to remember yet very desperate for forgiveness when accosted. We find it hard to forgive yet we would do anything to be forgiven. And until our errors are shown us we hardly remember, we take offending others in our strides yet never goes out of our way to forgive. We hold tightly to hurt suffered we must know we hurt others too.
So if you have no sin be the first to throw the stone of judgment. Ignoble people will still throw the stones anyway. Remove first the log in your eyes before trying to remove the specks in others' eyes but the logs are weightless in our eyes while we feel the burden of the speck in other's eyes. This is a weakness of man.
So that's how impossible it is to forget the hurts we suffer and how easy it is to lose consciousness of ever being hurtful to people. Let's not demand forgetting now but let's ask for forgiveness. Don't bother to forget, just forgive. But can I also ask that we sharpen our consciousness of the errors we commit? Because it won't be demanded of those we hurt to forget. Feel the toes you step on. Our actions may leave blood and tears behind even when sincere and true what's wrong is the lack our consciousness of the negative exhausts.
Do I need apologies to forgive? O yes! Some can't forgive truly without apologies and in profuse quantities too! Apologies sometimes aren't better than vengeance! They become payments demanded and paid for hurts suffered. Though looks legitimate, yet could be malicious when demanded, Healing when freely given and received.
Apologies are necessary but don't wait for them before you forgive, what if it doesn't come? Let not your healing be dependent on what others may not do. Forgive as at when hurt and as soon! Forgiveness has no substitute except war and no one comes out a war unhurt even the victorious! Put your energy in seeking to forgive and be forgiven until then don't forget!