It is not Good to be Alone

Relationship Friday: It is not Good to be Alone

In the book of Genesis, marriage started with God saying, it is not good for the human he had made to be alone. There He resolved to making him a help meet and suitable for him.

Man didn't have a problem of who to work with, he only had the problem of companionship. He didn't even have a problem of procreation, God would have found an asexual means of reproduction for man to keep giving birth. The problem man had was that of companionship.

The necessity, therefore, of marriage is in companionship and in being there for one another. The social need of a married person is the primary responsibility of the spouse. A married person shouldn't have a problem of loneliness or being alone.

Being alone isn't just a case of not being in a crowd. It is more than not having someone near. A person can be in a crowd and still be lonely and alone. It goes beyond being among people, it is about having someone who connects mentally, psychologically and emotionally.

I believe that's the reason why the help meet was not found in the animal kingdom outside of Adam. God had to split Adam into two to get him to be the help he needs for himself. No help against loneliness or being alone can make any lasting effect if it isn't of the bone of one's bones and the flesh of one's flesh.

What that means is that we have to learn to be there for one another once we are married. It is more than bearing same name, living in the same room and having sex but a ministry that offers vital emotional, psychological and social benefits that give emotional and psychological wellbeing to the other person.

With you are married to your wife or husband, she or he must never walk alone while you are still alive. There must be a sharing and shearing of both the pains and the joys of life. There should be mutual emotional and psychological reliance on one another.

That's why it is the worst kind of betrayal and irresponsibility to suffer rejection in the hand of a spouse. The greatest support a person can get is that one coming from a spouse. Some may not cherish it until they don't have it anymore. This one support is worth a million others. If it's there, it may not matter much whose support isn't.

But it is highly enhanced by communication and openness. Emotional and psychological needs are not easily discoverable. They are not like physical needs that can be easily seen. That's why this depends so largely on quality communication. When we are naked to one another emotionally and psychologically, and not being ashamed, even if it makes us look vulnerable, we give the other person the opportunity to play his or her role of being the companion and the help we need.

Our spouses won't know if we have been hurt and the kind of hurt we are dealing with if there is no platform for communication. We often wish they knew without us having to tell. But they won't know and the responsibility of knowing by the Spirit should not be added when we are there to speak up of what is going on within us.

And when we have been told what's going on, we should not treat it as something unimportant. What's important to one may not be important to the other but in marriage, what's important to your spouse is a big deal even if it isn't important to you. When we treat what's important to the other person, which may not be important to us as no big deal and we handle then with kid gloves, we tend to make the other person think he or she isn't important and shouldn't have shared the information. Such would find it hard communicating such issues next time.
When our spouses open up to us about their emotional and psychological difficulties, it is a great responsibility that has been given and we should rise up to the occasion, paying serious attention and making sure the issue finds a solution.

The greatest solution is in being there. Being the ear that hears. The shoulders to cry upon, the heart to bear the burden, the hugs that soothes, the mouth that encourages, the legs that walk with and the hands that work out solutions to the problems.

The bottom line is that you just have to be there. That's your business, you can't be too busy to be there for your spouse. It is why you are married to him or her.

It is not good to be alone and now that you have a companion, be there for him or her... That's what makes it good! Otherwise it's not good and it can be worse if you are there and the your spouse is still alone and lonely, having no one to share his or her pains and struggles with... That'll be a shame.

Start today to create avenue for emotional and psychological ministering to your spouse. Check out for symptoms of depression, sadness and hurts and start doing what you can to show concerns and cares. With you being there, there's enough help to move on unto solutions!

Have a solid weekend together! God bless you and your spouse. Share for others to take action!

Photo credit: Luizmedeirosph/Pexel