The Complexity of Gratitude

The Complexity of Gratitude

One of the end times characteristics is that people will be unthankful. Being unthankful isn't a character trait anyone would want to be characterised with. You don't want to be called an ingrate. No one wants to be. Yet, we can't be thankful enough even for the least of the good things others do to and for us through grace.

The truth is that people desire to be given credit for whatever they do. It seems to be how we are wired. The downside is that as much as we want others to acknowledge what we do, we don't always find it easy to show enough gratitude for what others do even if we hate the tag of an ingrate. It is a complexity in the nature of humans. 

The complexity of gratitude is embedded in the fact that none of us is self sufficient and we will always need and enjoy other people's graces and others too will enjoy ours. The complexity extends to judging how much gratitude will be enough for a good done. Most times, this is only in the mind of the doer of the good. But as we enjoy whatever benefit from others, it is required that we reciprocate to the best of our abilities under God. 

The complexity extends to the point of not being able to let the recipient know what would constitute gratitude that should be shown, so as not to be called an ingrate. I got to know at a point in my life that not every good thing people do freely is a gift. Not every gift is free, some are merchandise, which you can't finish paying for, the problem is that you won't ever know what you need to do to be free from the bondage of gratitude for such, no one tells you that. Some are forever indebted. 

Yes, we are forever indebted to those who have ever showed us help and grace but at what point does one start to become an ingrate? The complexity can actually become a blackmail depending on the people involved. 

I understand that one can be grateful today and withdraw the same gratitude tomorrow. One may be ungrateful today and realise that later and start being grateful for what wasn't recognised in the past. That too is part of the complexity of gratitude. 

Do I have a right to complain that someone didn't show me gratitude for what I did for the person even when it is clear that the effort or sacrifice wasn't acknowledged or reciprocated? I don't think so. This is part of the complexity. 

But I speak for myself here because I can't judge another person who feels he hasn't been properly acknowledged or thanked for what he or she might have done for another. Though I won't do that in my most noble state, yet, it will be absurd to me, for me to query anyone for complaining not being shown gratitude for what he or she did if such feels it is deserved. 

I write this at a ceremony organised by Lagos State Pension Commission (LASPEC) to give retirees of the state their bond certificates with which to claim their gratuities and their pensions. I came with a person who retired seven years ago. This should be a way of saying thanks to these old men and women for serving their community for many years...but the gratitude is coming seven years after for this particular person...but it is still gratitude, isn't it? Is it accepted or acceptable? This is part of the complexities of gratitude. Can gratitude be late? Does lateness constitute ingratitude? 

The best attitude is to do our good without any expectations of reciprocity. This is part of what's called grace. It is no more grace if after I'd done what I consider good and godly to expect the recipient to say thank you or to do something that I want for what I did. That should be at his or her own discretion. 

There are things we do that those who would benefit from them should ordinarily never know we were behind them. If we become too hungry for gratitude, we would someday walk up to them to tell them what we did just for them to say thank you. If I pray for you in my closet, should I come tell you, even if it would mean you seeing me as a good person and not telling may make me look bad? 

Jesus Christ said our gifts should be given without the right hand knowing what the left does. He said we should not blow the trumpet to offer our gifts. We should give to those who ask us and those who took from us, we should never ask again for the things taken. It shows to me that we should give, not expecting anything in return, not even a thank you, so that the heavenly Father can recognise the grace we show. 

God is the ultimate Paymaster. We should let Him do for us what He, as the faithful and righteous judge of all things, deems fit for what we have done. If we get too consumed by people's sense of gratitude or our own judgment of their thankfulness, we will weaken our hearts in doing good and closeup the flow of grace from us to others and from God to us. 

We should however do our best to show gratitude to our benefactors the best way we can, even if it comes short of their own expectations. God must know we are grateful in our hearts first, then we show it to those who do good to us to the best of our abilities. It won't be alright to trade with our good or with our gratitude to the point of unending reference. Let's free people and keep our hearts from unnecessary disappointments and hurts. 

The good feeling of being able to do good to the benefits of those who need it, grateful or not, is enough reward for doing good, and God, who is never going to be unrighteous will never forget our labours of love! 

Good Morning. 

Luke 6:35

2Timothy 3:2

Matthew 6:1-4

Luke 6:30

Hebrews 6:10

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