No Love Lust

No Love Lust

Yes, it's correct. No love lust. It definitely rhymes with the idiom, no love lost, which means no love exchange between two or more people or groups of people. Though it rhymes with the idiom, it isn't saying the same thing exactly.

Love and lust are often used in place of one another. The negativity that comes with the word 'lust' limits its use, people prefer to use the word love in place of lust. The result is that people take lust for love and love for lust.

The demarcation between the feelings of lust and of love is only a thin line. Both have passion and energy, but one is only selfish and the other sacrificial, though under their spells, only the mature would know the difference. The pleasures derived from them are also different, one is intense but short-lived, while the other may start out slowly to burn for eternity. One is like fire from a pile of wood, while the other is like fire from a petrol explosion. One has the tendency of getting you into trouble that won't end, while the other gets you into lifetime bliss and goodness. One definitely is more attractive than the other, that sluggish one often looks too drab even if that's what's good for us.

The Bible tells us that worldliness is made of three things, the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life. All the three are expressions of selfishness. They are the cravings of our flesh. When the Bible talks about the flesh, it's not talking about our bodies, but a mindset that seeks to exalt and satisfy self without restraints nor respect for God or for others.

 Self is expressed in the way we manage our appetites and importance in relation to other people. When self is managed by lust, there won't be restraints in satisfying sexual cravings, in desire for things and in self expression and in the sense of personal importance.

Ordinarily, unrestrained self cares less about others. When the urge for sex comes, lust is nondiscriminatory, it won't care who is used to satisfy it and at whose expense. When the desire for a thing arises, lust doesn't care whose those things are, they must be acquired at all cost even when not needed, but just because the eyes crave for them. When it is to express self, lust will do anything to put others down, even if they are better in reality and may not mind going any length to put self above perceived and actual competitors because lust always says you're better than the rest.

And when lust is on rampage, both the subject and the object are in danger. The object becomes a victim to be exploited and the suffering begins immediately and may last a lifetime, while the suffering of the subject, the perpetrator, begins after the initial and temporal pleasure of sin and may last forever. 

What about love? Love is the very opposite of lust. Love gives as the ultimate reason. Lust gives as a means to an end, the end, which is to satisfy itself and discard the receiver with inflicted pains. 

Love seeks good and not evil for others even at the expense of the lover. Love never takes advantage of others. It does not seek to satisfy self by depriving others, love won't put others down to exalt self, it would rather condescend in preferring others.

Sexually, love would stay by its commitment to a lover and would not deprive others of their spouses. Love won't sleep with another man's wife or with another woman's husband. Love won't even crave for such. It respects others and seeks their pleasure. Love won't make a love vow and break it either by doing things contrary to the vows or by walking away from it. Love won't abuse others, physically, psychologically, financially or in any other way. Love protects people's lives and dignity.

Even among married couples, love in sex would mean seeking the sexual pleasure of your spouse and not just yours even when you may have to sacrifice yours. It expresses itself same way in acquisitions and in self importance. Love does not puff of, its never conceited, never envious. 

That's why in intimate relationships, you have to follow love and not lust. Are you sure your suitor isn't being motivated by lust? Are you sure that lady you're holding isn't there with you just for what she can get? Isn't that guy just out to use you for his sexual lusts?

Are you sure you are in that relationship because you really love that person and you're ready to make sacrifices to better the person or is it just for what you want to get out of it sexually or materially?

It isn't love, when all you do is exchange sex for things between you and your spouse. The day sex won't come there won't be things to exchange and the day those things won't flow, sex won't be available...and the day they are missing nothing holds the relationship for any higher purpose. That's not what relationships are meant to give. It normally ends in destruction. 

Seek love, not lust, 

Give love, not lust. 

Let it be love, and not lust,

No love lust.

Happy weekend!