Most singles want to get married someday. Some have been married before or at least gotten involved in a couple of failed relationships. Many haven't had such an experience. Something in every single person tells them what's good in who they should get married to, to have the kind of bliss they had dreamed. But their observations and sometimes the experiences they have had, don't add up to create a sense of possibility of such lives.
The question on the heart of many is 'Who exactly should I marry to enjoy life?'
And its good that question is answered before the journey begins so that the answer can drive and guide the transition. When the answer is wrong, of course, the whole system turns out bad.
Who should I marry? If you will ask me, I'll tell you to marry a Christian. I'm sure that's laughable to many, because those who have caused them grief and suffering in life and in marriage are none other than so called Christians and I am a witness to that.
But studying the scriptures, you'll realise that just identifying with a religion where the name of Christ is mentioned isn't equal to being a Christian in the real sense of it, just as putting on a lab coat and a stethoscope and sitting in an office in a hospital doesn't make you a medical doctor.
You may desire to be a medical doctor, or even studying towards it, and it's OK, yet that doesn't make you one. Same way you may desire to be a Christian, and working towards it, and that'll be great but it doesn't make you one.
The disciples were first called Christians in Antioch. So we know that Christians are disciples of Christ. And following the story of Christ, His disciples were different from those who came to patronise Him. Those wouldn't be called Christians even if they were many more than those called disciples. Even if they were always coming, they were not called disciples.
Disciples were those who had forsaken all for Christ, socially, materially and in every other way. They are those who carry their cross, in commitment to the teaching and the lifestyle of Christ.
Now, these are the most pleasant people to live with in earth, you can testify if you have met a few of them. Their lives can be described by their deadly pursuit to be like their Master through their commitment to the teachings of Christ.
You may have met impostors, who are full of religious flamboyance with plenty leaves and flowers without fruits. But Jesus Christ had warned that by their fruits and not leaves or flowers shall they be recognized, don't be scammed.
They aren't wolves covered with sheep's clothing. They bear fruits, they don't hang fruits. It's natural to them to bear good fruits from the good treasure within them. They don't need to make things up, it flows naturally with them to be zealous of good works.
Galatians 5
22. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, 23. Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. 24. And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.
Someone who brings forth this fruit is who I'm recommending here. But such must first be one who shares the nature of Christ through the new birth and who lives by the leading of the Spirit, one who is drunken and under the influence of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God through total submission to the Lordship of Christ. Without these experiences, anyone who may seem to be bearing such fruits is most likely an impostor, a wolf in sheep's clothes.
Such a person, I'm recommending has crucified the flesh and the lusts thereof, meaning the appetite for and the control of fame, sex and selfishness have been broken. The lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh and the pride of life have no hold on his or her life... Now, that's a Christian! That's a disciple of Christ.
What comes to mind quickly is that such is an impossibility? But that's a lie of the devil to maintain the status quo of marital failure. The question should be how to get this and not how impossible it is. If its possible to be a Christian, then it's possible to get one to marry.
The way to getting such is to be one yourself. Because you only find someone like you. Someone that'll be attractive to you is probably someone with your kind of values. Your definition of good is what someone you are drifted towards is, until such stings as an adder.
If you feel it's impossible to be a Christian, then you won't be out looking for one. But to those who believe and are seeking to be, through grace, they will find it in themselves first and in others who already are.
So, marry a Christian but to be sure of what you are getting, you have to be one yourself bringing forth the fruit of love, joy, patience, long-suffering, peace, faithfulness, gentleness, meekness, goodness, self control, temperance etc...flowing naturally by the workings of the Spirit of God and the Word of God from within.
If you don't prioritize these things, you may end up marrying someone who is spiritually barren.
2 Peter 1
4. Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.
5. And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge;
6. And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness;
7. And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.
8. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
9. But he that lacketh these things is blind, and cannot see afar off, and hath forgotten that he was purged from his old sins.
10. Wherefore the rather, brethren, give diligence to make your calling and election sure: for if ye do these things, ye shall never fall:
I pray for our singles seeking to marry, that their hearts will seek what's spiritual and not what's worldly, so that they can get the life that affords the peace and the love of God in Jesus name.
Peace to you!
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