Must I Marry?

Relationship Friday: Must I Marry?

The truth is that you don't have to marry. Not only is marriage not for everybody, it is also true that many will not marry. The frustration a lot of people experience isn't because they ought to be married and they are not, but that they have been told that they must marry.

A lot don't even want to by themselves, they don't have the temperament, the desire and the urge that are needed to make success of marriage but societal pressure won't let them stay wherein they have been called.

Jesus Christ said in Matthew 19 that there are people who won't marry because God made them so, some made so by other people and some made themselves so.

Apostle Paul in his first letter to the Corinthians, chapter 7 said some people are gifted not to be married corroborating what Jesus Christ said about God not making some people for marriage. Paul called it a gift and that each one of us has his or her 'proper gift'.

Apostle Paul also said some won't be married because of certain negative and unsupportive situations and conditions which he referred to as 'present distress'.

He generally presented marriage as something one may decide not to go into, though I believe it is possible that God compels one to get married, if it is important to His plan for one.

But according to apostle Paul, when one gets married when one shouldn't, 'such would have trouble in the flesh' a situation we see in many marriages today.

The conclusion is that it isn't compulsory to marry.

But then, not getting married, if it is by divine plan and purpose would come with its 'proper gift', which would support being single without defiling the body and living in sin.

And if it is a personal decision, one should be ready to deal with sexual burnings to avoid sexual immorality. Whatever the decision may be, it must never be such that will lead to sinful living.

But then, if one knows that he or she shouldn't get married because he or she doesn't have what it takes to keep a husband or wife, to keep a home and raise children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, it'll be nice to spare others who may want to marry them the troubles their getting married may cause.

If you can't love unconditionally, if you can't give your body to your wife or husband as you ought to, if you aren't ready to lay down your life for your wife as Christ did for the church or you aren't ready to submit to your partner with utmost respect for his person irrespective of the conditions, if you are not ready to keep the marital bed undefiled... I doubt if you have the gift and it'll be better to stay off, it is better not to marry.

And if you see a man or woman who doesn't have such gifts, even if you have them in excess, it is better to wait than to marry such a person.

Lusts, greed and inordinate affections often lead people into getting married when they shouldn't and lead others to marry people who should not be married and in both cases people suffer and have trouble in the flesh according to Apostle Paul.

It's not the whole truth for people to say everyone should marry, we aren't all made for marriage and many of us won't ever get married for different reasons. Quite a number of people, for instance, find it hard to live with others, they find sharing their spaces with others almost impossible, if such get married, there will be trouble...people should be saved such troubles.

Look closely into yourself and ask that question if you were made for marriage. Of course, that you are late in finding the right person isn't part of the things that qualify you for celibacy, if you should marry, then you must have been created for someone. That you are yet to meet such even at 50 doesn't mean you won't meet such and still be fulfilled in marriage.

But if you shouldn't, then discover the purposes for which God had created you and bury yourself into whatever it takes to fulfil it and never be moved by the stigma of society and the pressure to get into marriage that may cause a lot of pain. Being single isn't a sin.

I must also say this before we end this, that if you should marry, with evidences that you are so wired, don't toy with celibacy that would deprive you of sexual fulfillment and that can cause you to misbehave and create unnecessary scandals. It isn't a sin to marry.

And if you are married, don't live like you are a celibate, living separately and distantly even when sleeping on same bed with your spouse. We are warned in 1 Corinthians 7 not to abstain for too long unnecessarily, to avoid Satan tempting through lack of self control. Don't punish a man or woman you had voluntarily married with sex and other marital responsibilities you have towards him or her, if you are married, give each other what's due and expected. If you don't like what married people do together, then don't marry and if you had married, then do what's expected, don't defraud your spouse.

You don't have to marry but if you are in it already then give it all you've got and don't live as if you are not!

Consider this properly, if you are yet to marry. God's blessings be with you always in Jesus name.

Have a glorious weekend!