Communication and Love are two big words, with each capable of filling many books if we are to keep expatiating. Today, we are combining the two because of their unique relationship.
Love is powered by communication. Any relationship that takes communication for granted will be handicapped and can easily be destroyed. Every relationship that would produce its fruits must pay attention to communication and make sure it is kept healthy, effective and efficient.
The complexities of communication these days make it even more imperative. We are in a world where you need to read deeper to understand writers, if there's a generation where you need to read in between the lines like never before, it is ours. We are in a generation where silence is laden with meanings. It is a world where verbal and non verbal communications would conflict and you are bound to follow the verbal even if the body language is screaming something else, since you can't tender a body language in the court of law? We are in a world where diplomatic language and political correctness hold sway in our communications and lots of people with sinister motives use these to manipulate the non assuming. What about subliminal communications? There are subliminal communications that the receivers can't control, all to manipulate the recipients in favor of the originator.
Besides, interpretations may not depend on speakers again, it is what the society calls it that it is and not what the interpretation used to be. There are words that don't mean what they meant anymore. Language is evolving even if our languages remain what they had always been.
This is impacting on marriages and relationships at a very significant rate. And to keep your love and home you must learn how to hear, how to respond, how to master silence, how to interpret both verbal and non verbal communications and respond or react adequately. You must master the language of your spouse and that of the relationship. You must learn to ask powerful questions that can drive conversations without animosity. All towards enthroning love and peace in your marriage.
Communication is the art of passing and receiving information, effectiveness in communication however is in doing it in such a way as to empower the recipients to respond and react intelligently.
To a manipulator, successful communication is that which diabolically boxes the recipient into a corner where response is bound to be in his or her favor using every tactic in the box.
Jesus Christ said, out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. He said, a good man, out of the good treasures of the heart, he brings forth good things and so is an evil person. He said a bad person can't speak good things until such is made good on the inside.
Love communication begins with a heart of love. Though we often are carried away by the endearing words but we must learn to listen with the heart. Heart must communicate with heart.
Lessons in communication tells us that we must say what we mean and mean what we say. We must learn to make our words our bond. We are ensnared by the words of our mouth, so we must say what we mean. Don't say yes, when you mean to say no.
We must hear properly. We must not hear what the other person isn't saying. And if we aren't sure, then we use the power of questions to seek clarity. Sometimes we may have to verbalise a non verbal chat. We may have to question some body languages to clarify issues.
Assumptions, suspicions and superstitions are the three demons of ineffective communication. Don't leave room for them. Don't let your spouse start assuming or suspecting your moves. Why let the other person read meanings when you can tell the meaning?
Try always to avoid assumptions and suspicions rather ask questions and confront issues for clarification.
When information isn't adequately given, either in content or in timing, the recipient has no way of reacting correctly even with the best intentions. The reaction of the recipient is handicapped and can be dangerous and troublesome. You don't expect your spouse to care for a sore you didn't declare expecting him or her to find out by the Spirit. That's not fair.
I understand that we always hear what we had already heard. We hardly hear what we haven't heard before except we deliberately listen. That's why if 10 people hear the same thing, the feedback may show 10 different hearings and none may actually tally with the things said.
That the power of listening. We hear but we may not listen and so our minds repeat what has been stored. When we listen, we engage our minds to capture what is being said and so the mind engages the ear to hear on its behalf so we can intelligently store, process and react to what's been said.
Make sure you listen to your spouse. We are often so distracted these days. Mobile phones, TV, hurriedness to meet up with appointments, tiredness after work, etc eat into our listening concentration. They also don't permit us say to one another all the good things in our hearts. We need to manage that better to strengthen our relationships.
We should therefore engage repetitions and feedbacks adequately. Saying the same things over and over has a way of making things stick but repetition should be used responsibly, it shouldn't be used negatively to inflame conflicts. There are issues that need no repetitions. Once they are mentioned, they should never be mentioned again to save love. Forcing some issues will bring strife and not love.
Nagging doesn't work any good. Yet, it's also a way of using repetitions to drive home points. Usually the points is driven into the wrong part of the mind of the other person to instigate hatred and not love. It should be avoided.
In all, always seek to write the vision plainly so that your spouse can read and react to it as expected. When we talk about things, we find solutions and progress. Let's engage it.
The most powerful three word sentence in any language is 'I love you', say it often and mean it from your heart... If your mouth is held up, use your eyes, if you can't use the eyes, use your body... Whatever happens, tell the one you call wife or husband... I love you...
Can you please close this page now and at least send a message to your spouse? Copy this, paste and send now...
I love you...
Thank you. God bless your relationship with His unconditional and unfailing love.
Happy Weekend!
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