It's Not Good to be Alone

Ministry Wednesday: It's not Good to be Alone (4' Read)

Ministers relationship is very crucial to fulfillment of ministry. When God said, it is not good for the man to be alone, He wasn't talking only about the marital system of mankind but in reference to the social being He had made man to be.

We were made to relate with one another if we are to function as we should. We won't ever find fulfillment being alone.

In destiny, people play a major role. It is major factor in destiny. People sent to us or those from whom God had sent us, those sent with us both temporarily and permanently, those we are sent to or those sent from us... Each of these groups requires proper connection and relationship with us to be able to deliver the desires of God.

But ministerial relationships can be as complex as any other. There are so many things brought into it that don't permit effectiveness. There are a lot of carryovers from the world that make a mess of the effect the relationship is meant to create.

Ordinarily, there is neither Jew nor Greek, neither male nor female, neither free nor slave in the new creation and in the Kingdom of God. Meaning, the social demarcations we have in the worldly society don't exist here in the kingdom of God. But we may erroneously bring those in and create a social classification among us which may even be peculiar to us. The flesh can be very innovative, once its given a chance, even within a spiritual environment, it knows what to do to establish itself and fester with its works.

You can begin to have classes of graces and anointing, classes of achievements, classes of riches and wealth, and so on once the flesh steps in. 

We are to give honour, not really to demand it. We were told to give honour to whom honour is due, we were not told to seek honour that we even think is due us. But the flesh seeks honour.

No wonder our Lord, Jesus Christ said in John 5

44. How can ye believe, which receive honour one of another, and seek not the honour that cometh from God only?

This is a major setback to relationship between and among ministers. We seek and receive honour from one another instead of seeking honour from God and in doing so we destroy fellowship.

We are to give honour, and not to seek it from others! If we abide by this rule, how sweet would our fellowship be?

Jesus Christ, our Lord told the apostles, whom He appointed to send forth, that He won't call them servants but friends... How would the saviour call those who can't save themselves friends? Yet He did it and it is Him we claim we serve, but we know those in our class to call friends, don't we?

God, the Father didn't count it as demeaning or degrading to permit His Son, Jesus Christ to be in His form and to even extend that to those who believe in Him. Jesus Christ Himself didn't see equality with God something to grab by force according to Philippians 2. These personalities are the ones we claim to serve, they called us into service and we have this to learn from how they relate.

We were called into fellowship with God through His Son, Jesus Christ, what a display of humility from God the maker of all things! On what grounds are we fellows with God? Think about it? But He wants it and desires it and was willing to send His Son to die on the cross in order to bring that to pass... I was told its the less that should seek the better but God won't wait for that before coming to seek us and to bring us into relationship with Him... We must learn from Him, if truly we share His nature.

If relationship must work among Christian ministers, we must learn from God and practice what we see Him do. And we have the capacity since we share His nature. His nature is primarily of love. God is love. We are His children, we can't be anything but love. But that's only legal, we need to put that to vitality for it to make any difference.

We have the capacity to forgive, we should forgive. We have the capacity to be generous and be helpful, we should do just that. We have the capacity to condescend to people of low degree, we should practice it. We have the capacity to build friendships beyond the world's class mentality, we should do it.

It won't work when we go about seeking people to bow down to us, to prop up our egoistic selves, to call us big titles, to recognise how big we are and to see us as different from them. That's not the spirit of Christ, we have not so learned Christ, that's Satan there in all his identity.

Lets remove all of those things that separate us. Let's stop seeing meekness as weakness, let us stop trampling on those who show us love and honour in their humility. Let us stop thinking we are better than others, seeing that whatever extra we think we have better than others is only given by grace to serve them...

Nothing destroys relationships like pride and nothing builds relationships like humility. We should also remember that the king of all relationships is friendship... We can build it with others, if God could build it with us, even from His exclusive level of the Omnis.

Thank you for reading, it's time we gave these things some very deep thoughts in the Holy Spirit.

Good day to you!

Photo Credit: Geralt/Pixabay

Where Success Begins

Motivation Monday: Where Success Begins

Sometimes the way forward is backwards. Sometimes we have to go back to go forward. There are things we may have left behind that we'll need going forward and no matter how much ground we are covering, we would have to go back to pick up what we left behind to make a meaning. It may be an information, it may be a skill, a relationship, a certification, an experience or whatever that may be. No matter how successful we have become, there are things we may need to go back in time to get in order to make that success worthwhile at the end.

We may have conquered many worlds and we may be ruling at many fronts but if we are yet to conquer self, we are yet to start the process of success.

Anyone who has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down and without walls said King Solomon. Such is like a city with its security apparatus grounded and has become susceptible to alien invasion and at the mercy of opposing forces.

Photo Credit: Skeeze/Pixabay 

Self control is the greatest virtue a life can cultivate. You can't arrive at self control until you have conquered self. You can't control what you are yet to conquer. And whatever is valuable enough to be conquered is surely on the radar of other potential conquerors, it may even already be under the control of another for the pleasure or service of the conqueror. 

What it means is that when you are not in control of your self, something or someone else is in control and such can make you do things you never thought you could do. 

Look around you, you'll notice that everything around you is trying to dictate and control what you do and so dictate who you are and so redefine you. You can only handle them, not by fighting them or struggling with them but by conquering self and controlling it. 

The first thing to conquer and take back from whoever is in charge are your thoughts. All sorts of things try to gain the attention of our thought system. Because whoever controls your thinking also controls your perspective to life and as you think so are you. 

That's why God's wisdom tells us to guard our minds with all diligence because issues of life flow from there. A man is defined by what is loaded in his heart so said Jesus Christ. Be careful what you load into your heart, if the tree is made good, the fruit will automatically be good. Don't let evil and negativity fill your heart to make you bring forth evil fruits. Conquer and control your thoughts! 

Conquer and control your appetites. Our aspirations shouldn't control us, we should control our aspirations. Honour, dignity, respect, love, goodness, grace and mercy are more valuable than any level of life's achievement. If you gain the whole world and lose these, you may die heartbroken with life having no meaning and full of regrets. Check your aspirations and appetite for material things, for sex, for food and drinks, for positions and for accolades, if you don't conquer to control these appetites, they have the capacity to drive a person into insanity, depression, untimely death and destruction. They can sting to the point of losing the very desire for life... Conquer and control your appetites, otherwise you'll be conquered by it and brought under the control of ruthless life's slave masters. 

Conquer and control your emotions. Feelings of affection, feelings of frustration, feelings of anger, feelings of disappointment, feelings of joy and of sorrow may all look involuntary but that's because we are yet to conquer them to be able to control them. 

We should not be happy or sad uncontrollably. Our desire to always be happy may be used as bait and bit to control us. Evil people can make us happy enough to trap us and make us grieve and sorrow enough to take more valuable things from us if we let go the control of our joys and sorrow. No trap is set for a would be victim using baits of what the victim dislikes. 

So many people have been put in bondage by the three most powerful words, "I Love You". We need affection and affirmation but we should control our desire for affections and affirmations. Not everyone who says 'I love you' deserves to be paid attention to in return, no matter the pressure. Many are users and abusers. The pursuit of validation may lead to a deadly cul de sac and may eventually make one trade more valuable things for a moment of accolades. 

Many of us have issues controlling how we react to unpleasant situations. Unpleasant words and actions that tend to demean us and abuse us have a way of inspiring anger and evil speaking. Lack of self control shows more than in any other way in the way we talk and show anger. We can therefore be controlled by others just because we cannot defer anger and control our tongues. We become like robotics, people already know what they need to say or do to get us raging or talking, they therefore control us as puppeteers control puppets to the entertainment of people and of themselves... Conquer and be in control of your temperament and talkativeness. 

Many have issues with publicity. In these days of social media we tend to live our lives on the streets of life, on social media. We seek publicity and so we show off. If one gets addicted to the lure of publicity, such makes life vulnerable to evil people lurking in the dark corners of social media. Be careful of that attention seeking self of yours, that desire for popularity may get you into people who have nothing but evil for your destiny. 

You have to ask yourself what exactly are those things running your life? The things concerning which you have lost your power of choice. Those things we are under compulsion to do. These things make us weak. 

No matter how great we have become, and how many people we have influence over, if there are still some areas where 'little' things still control us, then we make our lives and the lives of those we have influence over vulnerable. 

It's time we took charge of our lives and be in control of our successes and not our successes being in control of our lives. Deliberately refuse to satisfy some desires you have the power to satisfy. Deliberately fast some things that are within your reach, break the compulsion, take charge of your body, don't be body ruled, what great joy of victory it brings! 

Good morning and have a great week ahead. Be in charge, rule your world! That is where success begins and that's where it ends, so that all that is in between can have real meaning!

God Has a Plan for You

Ministry Wednesday: God Has a Plan for You. 

I was 52 two days ago, it has been a great time of meditation and reflection for me. It afforded me to do appraisals and make projections. I was able to recheck on the places I'd been, the people I've met, the events that I'd gone through and the times and seasons of my life so far.

I'd seen the practicality of different people's roles, efforts and effects in my life. How they came into my life, the values they command and the values they left. Those sent to me and those I was sent to. Those who journeyed with me and those we are still running together. Those I wished I never met, though necessary and those I wished could be there forever but would only be for a time. 

I'd looked back at places I've been to and being through. The effect of each on my life, growth, development and maturity. My arrivals and my departures, my connections and my disconnections, both those I made happen and those I simply had no control over.

The events of my life, actions, reactions, consequences and repercussions and how these have shaped my outlook to life, management of relationships and how they had reformed me.

All these in the times and in the seasons so far in my life.

The people, the places, the events and the seasons in life being the basic factors of life's destiny can be sure measures for life's appraisals. The level of management given to these interwoven factors of destiny determines what outcome one has in life and in fulfilling divine purposes in life.

Looking back I realise that God sure has a plan for every life, for everything brought in to and working in our lives.

During some very terrible times of my life, that truth was an anchor for me: the fact that God has a plan and a purpose for my life. We know what God told the children of Israel when in an uncertain captivity in Babylon... How He, through Jeremiah, the prophet said I know the thoughts or plan, I have toward you, the plan to prosper you, plan of good and not of evil, to give you hope and an expected end. 

I believe that's true for everyone. And it is soothing to know that God is powerful enough to bring that plan to pass, whatever the plan is and whatever the route and the giants and the demons on the way.

I've realised that the only thing that's too powerful than the plan is the individual. Because in spite of God having a plan, the individual too has his or her own plans even if he or she isn't omnipotent, which means it'll end in disaster or become susceptible to satanic hijacking and at best could only produce personal comfort and not divine purpose or pleasure.

In time of trouble, its often difficult to remember that God has a plan. It was tough for the Israelites in Babylonian captivity to be able to know anything about God's plan for them. They would have rather wondered if God was faithful. And so, that season became a time for God to remind them that a plan was hatching that will eventually be in their favour.

I have realised that if we can allow God, if we can let go and let God, if we can trust His plan and work closely with the Holy Spirit as He leads us, incredible things can happen in spite of our pains, disappointments and mistakes. God can make our outcomes to be beyond our difficulties and errors, if we let Him! 

The Holy Spirit is the manager of our destinies. He is the wind who blows us in the direction of God's plan for our lives. He knows who we should connect to per time, He knows where we should be per time, He knows what we should make happen and how to react and relate with the events of our lives we have no control over. 

He is the one who knows when the show is over at any point on the journey and when a next phase will be starting. He knows the times of sabbath, He knows the times of labour. He has our future sorted, He has an inventory of all that has been prepared for us, things that eyes have not seen, that ears have not heard, things that had jot entered into the imagination of men's minds... And He knows when each will come and how we should connect with them.

In all, He knows how to work all the factors together for our good. Looking back, I would say the greatest thing to know through the journey is that God has a plan for the journey, even at those times when it didn't look like it.

That understanding will help us to move in steps with the Holy Spirit. We won't arrive later than expected at places and we won't arrive earlier than necessary. We won't stay when He had moved, we won't move when He is still in the middle of something.

Though we may not know it as at then, but if we work and walk by faith with and in closeness with the Spirit of God, we would unconsciously walk in the centre of His plan as He reveals the mysterious plan God has for us and for each season of our lives. He reveals these things into our heart bearing witness with our conscience per time. 

To whom we yield our lives to obey, to such we are servants, according to scriptures. We are to yield to the quickening of the Holy Spirit, as He puts that sweet subtle pressure on us to drive us to the next phases of our lives. There's is the quickening of our mortal bodies by the indwelling Holy Spirit which we must work and walk with to fulfil divine destiny. When we become tied down and rigid to where God has brought us, it'll become too difficult to move on when He's leaving. The greatest problem to Barnabas and Paul in leaving Antioch would have been their great success in that city, yet that was not even the work to which the Holy Spirit had called them. 

My admonition is that God has a plan for our lives, and He has power and all resources available to bring the plans to pass, and if we yield to the leading of His Spirit, with faith and assurance in that invisible plan, we will eventually fulfill destiny.

You may be going through very serious times now, and uncertainties may becloud your mind, all you need do is surrender to that plan by faith, let your heart be filled with the conviction and the assurance that there is a plan God is working on and that He will bring the changes that will bring clarity.

Trust Him! Yield to Him! Ready to move at His push and to do His own good pleasure as He desires! 

God bless and keep you and cause His face to shine upon you and give you peace in Jesus name! Amen

Relationship Friday: Rekindle Love

Rekindle Love

Relationships are kept by love. It is difficult to enforce relationships without affections. Relationships, though defined by responsibilities aren't sustained by mere duties without passionate love. Duties and responsibilities should be offsprings of love.
Many a times, relationships start with affection but it is soon lost to mere duties as responsibilities replace affections and endearments.
When he is asked if he loves his wife, he says yes, and when he is asked why, he says, because he gives her money and takes care of her...
When she is asked if she loves her husband, she says, yes and when she is further asked why, she says because she gives him sex, takes care of the home, and the children, cooking and cleaning!

When they are asked if they talk, take walks together, if they hold hands in public and touch outside touching for sex, they wonder why those are important in marriage, the duties are enough, they only talk, go out together and take walks with friends and not with spouses.

Marital relationships often fall into the trap of duties and routines. The duties are easier to do than to forgive and to forget offenses. It's easier to give money than to sit together and talk over difficult things. It's easier to cook and wash and be preoccupied with children than to walk together down the streets holding hands.

Duties are used as palliatives for our consciences, they become alibis for us against the prodding within us, asking how good we are doing with our married partners.
They justify our anger and disaffections towards each other. We use them to highlight how irresponsibility and ungrateful the other person is and we use them to support our complaints and frustrations.

But does being up and doing with our "responsibilities" and "duties" towards the home and towards one another really bring bonding and happiness in marriage? The answer is No!
Marital relationship, just as any other relationship is sustained by pure love from the heart, affections and endearments that flow from the heart. That feeling that keeps the other person safe in the heart, carried about everywhere even when they aren't present. The feeling that creates that sense of missing one another even after a few minutes of separation. It is friendship but to another level. A commitment beyond mere duties.

Most relationships started with it but it soon fizzles away as duties and responsibilities bring in selfishness and carefulness, destroying the freedom and the friendship that would be needed to sustain the relationship and keep joy and laughter within it.

When duties and responsibilities take over from free flowing love, the relationship then is at the mercy of the forces of duties waiting for the failure of one in carrying out his or her responsibility or duty. Once that failure comes, the relationship falls apart. Meanwhile, love covers multitudes of sins. Love is ready to suffer and make sacrifices. Love when mutual can resist any storm with selflessness, generosity, accommodation and largeness of heart! Love cares less about duties and responsibilities, only seeking how to satisfy the needs of the other, not as a duty made compulsory by society but as driven by love and the good of the other person!

Have you permitted duties and responsibilities to take over the place of love in your heart? Do you rate your spouse's love for you by his or her ability to fulfil his or her responsibilities? Do you rate your love for your spouse just by the responsibilities toward him or her, while you find or give friendship and affection elsewhere? What happens when for certain reasons beyond your control you aren't able to continue with your duties and responsibilities? Will that mean you no longer love him or her, will that be the end of the relationship?

This is why we should rekindle love in our marriages and relationships. Forgive the hurts and the offences, they will always come, don't mind them. Find friendship again within your marriage and let that be the reason for carrying out what should be done. Create freedom for one another within the relationship, let the relationship be strong enough to accommodate mistakes and corrections without them hurting the system. Be the friend you should be to your spouse, don't let pride and ego stop your joy and happiness.

Why not do something unusual for your spouse to rekindle your love life this weekend? Now is the time to be innovative, and do something unusual to spark the plugs of your love life again! You deserve to have a good marriage, you'll need to stop complaining about the rough and hard palm tree, tap the wine instead and fill your gourd with pure wine of love and affection with joy... You deserve it! Go for it, don't be shy and don't be discouraged!

Have a great weekend of love!

Photo Credit: RedHeadsRule/Pixabay 

Ministerial Pressures

Ministry Wednesday: Ministerial Pressures

Ministerial Pressures

Philippians 3
12. Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.

13. Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

14. I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.

Ministry has its basic pressures but not all pressures are right pressures. The pressure of ministry is derived from the pressure of being a Christian, an extension of that, so to say.

Every Christian must apply certain pressure of faith to break whatever barriers to get into the kingdom of God. We must fight the fight of faith, we must contented for the faith, we must war a good warfare. There is no place for complacency and ease, otherwise, we are swept away. We must press into the kingdom.

Luke 16
16. The law and the prophets were until John: since that time the kingdom of God is preached, and every man presseth into it.

There is then the mark of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus which we must press towards to attain, if we would ever lay hold on the purpose for which Christ had laid hold on us...

The understanding of God's will in this regard puts certain pressure on a servant of God to also transmit same pressure to his pursuit of the kingdom of God and His righteousness.

But then we have other things that unnecessarily put pressure on us, which pressure we also transmit unnecessarily onto other systems.

We have the pressure of the world. We unnecessarily want to attain what our counterparts in the world or outside ministry have attained. We come under the pressure of worldly attainments and lose the pressure of the kingdom like Demas. Many of us don't have to leave where we are unlike Demas, to have left Christ because of our love for the present world!

We come under the pressure of performance. We want to make the world or the church see what we are doing or what we can do. There is nothing wrong in wanting to perform to the strength God gives us. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. But we shouldn't seek to perform beyond the strength God has given otherwise, we come under a bone crushing pressure to perform, that produces nothing.

Pressure of acceptance. Yes, apostle Paul asked the Romans to pray for him so that the offering of his gifts would be acceptable to the brethren in Jerusalem, Romans 15. But we should not bring ourselves under such pressures of human acceptance, rather we should seek to be acceptable unto God. Human approval without God's approval is disapproval! We must know exactly what we really want.

There is the pressure of self satisfaction. We have personal goals and dreams we want to achieve. We often erroneously use the platform Christ has given us in ministry to pursue those and we often accomplish them, but would our personal satisfaction also satisfy God even when we had not pursued His own satisfaction?

There are so many other kinds of pressures we bring ourselves under unnecessarily that may push us into doing things contrary to God's word and to His Spirit.

There are people under the pressure to defend their integrity, to defend their churches' membership and attendance, pressure to cover up crisis and scandals, pressure to sustain a home, pressure to be financially free and so on...

Eventually, pressure gets something broken,

we don't have to wait till we are pressured into doing evil or getting into trouble. That subtle pressure can create a different person unknown in the book of life, so avoid it.

The world is going through financial crisis and the church would feel the impact but we should keep ourselves strong in God through unfailing faith and faithfulness. We must be careful for nothing but be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.

Finally, let us remember that what has been kept in our charge can only be managed by the Holy Spirit who lives within us. So, let's become more connected to the Holy Spirit and learn to engage Him in handling the pressures that come upon us and we will do well.

Let each check what kind of pressure, he or she is under, and let each destroy the monster he or she has created that's causing unnecessary trouble and threats and be free from unnecessary pressures to pursue that one thing... The mark of the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus...laying hold on the reason for which Christ laid hold on each one of us!

Have a marvelous rest of the week and keep yourself in the love of God. I love you so much!

2 Timothy 1
14. That good thing which was committed unto thee keep by the Holy Ghost which dwelleth in us.

Photos: Pixabay

Connection, Not Perfection in Marriage

Relationship Friday: Connection, Not Perfection

A friend and a big brother with his amiable wife, Pastors Tim and Shola Oladipo, wrote a book with the same title, Connection, Not Perfection: Our Marriage Journey so Far. A compilation of lessons from over 30 years of their marriage experience.

In finding stability in marriage, some often set out looking for a perfect persons who behave perfectly according to expectations, without any flaw or offence. Such expectations are quick ways to failure because inherent within such is a large possibility for disappointment.

Now, if such expectations are sure to be disappointed, should we otherwise expect the worse from our spouse and from our marriages? What good does marriage promise then? Or should we agree to the notion that marriage is a necessary evil?

The joy of marriage is enormous and there is no reason not to expect marriage to bring a better life to a couple, however, what we must know is that it won't happen automatically.

Living happily ever after marriage is a possibility if we are ready to work out the salvation with fear and trembling. Every good thing that has ever been said about marriage is a possibility if we are ready to remove the possibilities of disappointment.

One ideology to first embrace is that no one is perfect, not you, not your spouse, not anybody for that matter. What God does is that He makes the imperfections of one to be made up for by the perfection of others.
Meaning, no one is perfectly imperfect. Everyone has his or her strong points meant to make up for the weak points of the other. Two can so work together that their output won't reflect their imperfections. But it takes vital connection between the two of them to achieve that.

It therefore means that we must learn how to connect with one another. Learning about the spaces left by our spouses to fill, searching within us the materials needed to complete what is missing.

Our rough edges are results of the fault lines where we broke off from the whole us, and to have us back as one, they fit back into each other to form the seamless whole our marriages are meant to make of us.

Those areas that get us mad about our spouses are those fault lines where we were broken off, waiting for us to bridge and to close up to get the oneness which marriage is.

We see deficiencies in our spouses but they are just indications of those areas we have to fill up. If a wife can't cook, and that, not for laziness but the husband can, it naturally shows who God has raised to do the cooking even if traditions and culture say it's the woman who must cook. If they try to stick to such traditions rather than what God has done already, they'll neither be happy nor have peace. They will always be anger and they may fight often and be unhappy with one another due to frictions.

They are both wonderfully and fearfully made, though imperfect but because they can't connect, they look like they are not made for each other.

Are we ready to connect so that we can extract the joy, peace and all that are embedded in our marriages? We should, so we can avoid the frustrations caused by concentrating on those areas of our spouses that show their imperfections.

Can you make money where your spouse can't? Can you take care of the children where your spouse may not have the skills or the time to? Can you find out what you can do to protect your spouse from being exposed to those things that highlight his or her weaknesses by confronting those things by yourself?

This is where love is displayed and not in permitting the exposure of your spouse to demands he or she can't cope with because of his or her weaknesses. That's one way to connect even in our seemingly imperfect situations.

We can learn more about this subject by getting and reading the book, Connection, not Perfection: Our marriage journey so far
The book is available on Amazon here https://www.amazon.com/Connection-Not-Perfection-marriage-Journey-ebook/dp/B07MX7H758

You can also get it if you'll be at the "Before and After 'I Do', BAID" Lagos meeting holding at Ikeja on the 10th of November 2019, 2pm to be facilitated by the authors of the book. It'll be available for free for the first 50 participants to arrive at the venue. #3, Eleruwa Street, WEMABOD Estate, WAHUM Bus stop, Off Adeniyi Jones, Ajao Road, Ikeja, Lagos.

If you are in Lagos, plan to be there, try to arrive on time, even if you miss the book, don't miss the seminar... It promises to be highly impacting... Invite other friends, both singles and married.

Remain super blessed! Have a glorious weekend!