Causes of Delay in getting Married

Relationship Friday: Causes of Delay in Getting Married

This is a very emotive subject, to be handled with utmost care. A few days ago, I was at a youth camp to speak on the matter. It is beautiful when sharing such with teenagers and young adults but a very difficult subject when dealing with matured singles who wished they had married years back and aren't yet.

But then, it's good we look into it but with utmost sensitivity, I hope, I'll be sensitive enough to be be able to pass the message.

The first cause of delay I'll talk about is the God factor. We ought to understand that not all of us are going to get married simply because God made it so. So technically we won't call this kind a delay.
1 Corinthians 7
7. For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

Matthew 19
12. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

And that one was created and gifted to be married requires that one would need to know the timing of God. There's is time for everything and a season for every purpose on the earth. If we miss our timing, it may be difficult to to get it back easily.

Luke 19
42. Saying, If thou hadst known, even thou, at least in this thy day, the things which belong unto thy peace! but now they are hid from thine eyes. 43. For the days shall come upon thee, that thine enemies shall cast a trench about thee, and compass thee round, and keep thee in on every side...

So we need to be sure we were made for marriage and if we were, then we need to know when we should bring forth the fruit. It should never be earlier or later than. We must work within the timing of God. When the time comes, the opportunities will be many also, it is good people be sensitive and to take advantage of the opportunity God brings.

2. Satan. The warfare in the spirit is all about the will and the plan of God being done. Marriage is a destiny matter. God has His plans for individuals, He wants His kingdom to come to us in every area of our lives through His will being done and Satan is all out to keep the will of God from coming to pass. He will fight dirty, he will send disruptions in the plan to derail, he will do all kinds, sending all kinds of arrows but when we stand strong with the shield of faith, we quench all the fiery arrows of the evil one.

Matthew 11
12. And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force.

Ephesians 6
16. Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

3. Society. A lot of people who should be married aren't because of culture and societal issues. Starting from parental consent and biases, dowry matters, perspectives about weddings programing and other societal expectations, financial and others.

The fundamental of marriage is clear, that a man leaves father and mother and cleave to his wife for both to be one. While the society should be responsible in ensuring that this is done with decorum, the influence of society should never make the mountain to climb become so high that only a few would be able to. Societal expectations should not contravene the desires and demands of God.
Most societies these days don't care about cohabitation, but living together and having sexual intimacy outside of marriage isn't God's will and it is sin against God, because of lack of marital commitment that may see people going from bed to bed irresponsibly leaving their partners used, broken and burdened.
The cost of weddings should not support fornication while discouraging marriage. A parlour wedding may birth a glorious marriage that a society wedding may find difficult to produce. Waiting to have whatever society wedding while living in sin won't be God's perfect choice.

Parents too should have respect for the choices of their children so long they have been properly guided in the way of the Lord prior to the time of their choices to help them make godly choices in marriage and in other areas of life. Parents too should not shoo their children into evil hands because they want them to marry early. We should follow God in these matters, walking by faith.

4. Personal issues and choices. Personal choices has the power to affect marital timings. For instance, character traits that don't support lasting relationships can keep a person waiting for a long time.

Being of good character and virtue may have a double edged impact on timing. It may bring delay as such a person insists on certain standards in who to marry, and on the other hand, not being of good character or not being virtuous may be the reason to wait because eligible spouses may avoid such a person.

When there's immaturity spiritually and physically, there may be avoidance and consequent delay. Bad character will even chase away bad people, not only good ones.

Personal choices may mean one wants to wait deliberately for a reason or another. For instance, a lot of people who decide not to go too far in education are found to experience less delay in getting married unlike those who continue in school till their late 20s, who won't want to permit marriage distract them in the pursuit of their educational goals.

Personal choices may advice not wanting to choose among eligible people who are available for whatever reasons. Sometimes it's better to wait or be without than to get into marriage with some people. But it is also very important to be sure that the values being used as yardstick are noble enough that one won't regret later. Some diamonds come in the rough...and only keen eyes would see the architecture in ruin. So people should be careful to look well enough before concluding on people.

Finally, we should know that God has the final say. His timing is always perfect. We should walk very closely with Him to know what to do per time. With that, even the wiles of Satan will be defeated every time. Walking closely with God helps to know if marriage is for you or not and to be able to live with God's will in the matter. It also helps to be led to who that person is who God had prepared for one at the set time.

I pray that the Lord will make you like the sons of Issachar who had understanding of the times to know what people should do per time. And to everyone who is under the delay of Satan, we declare freedom in Jesus name.

Thank you for reading, please share so that people who may need it may be blessed. Leave your thoughts and comments to help us learn further.

God's blessings always.

Have a beautiful weekend

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