Correct Confrontation!

Correct Confrontation
I was just thinking and my thoughts drifted to the issue of confrontation. And I wonder how easy it is for many to confront others on almost every issue. It has never been the easy thing to do for me. I respect relationships and how I wish I can keep every relationship I have had with friends and relatives alike. I love people and hurting them isn't what I'll ever cherish. Why should I put myself in a position I'll later regret. Frivolous confrontation isn't a thing of pride aand it'll never be. With a heart of love multitude of sins are covered and when the souls notices every hurt and offence, it should be noted that love threshold has fallen. And how could there be love when at every step on the toe, a confrontation ensues.
I don't also want to lose credibility. If I have to ask at every issue and no issue is overlooked, soon my queries would become worthless and the next one will draw disdain rather than the quality attention required.
I would be like an uncontrolled madman if every time something happens or even when nothing happens I bark like a dog and snap like an ant. If everyone who passes must be careful not to wake up my angst and growl and every one around becomes sensitive to my sensitivity then I create a lonely institution for my self, a solitary world and only depression would keep company.
Rebellion normally needs a mouthpiece and when it grows in the heart it doesn't bear fruit until the mouth speaks it out to the destruction of the ringleaders. Yet there is no uprising against a king.
But that stand isn't always the correct stand. When I see excesses and 'over do' I love to check. Wherever there is excess, there must be a check. When humility is despised, there should be a caution. When the man takes advantage of the woman and kids and ride roughshod on the gentle and the innocent, I see excesses that must be confronted. Why should the elder women be at the arena and the back-mounted baby would be out of position at the back of the young mother?
Whem the woman won't take care of her precious home and follow the frivolities of societal enjoyment and pleasure to the deprivation of children of their mother and the man of his wife, the wise should call such to order, it is correct confrontation.
When hypocrisy is noted with the noble and the elders would shift the old landmarks of the ancient to suit some temporal cravings and enthrone the unjustified, nothing is wrong if the wise raises a point of order to expose and correct the error.
When the little leaks of oppression start growing to an open tap, its good the oppressor be spoken to, before the fire such is playing with explodes in his hands to the demise of many and of himself.
I have seen kids too manipulate thier parents and the fear of confrontation kept such going till the maggots make precious children a home due to rotteness. A gentle confrontation can wake the mind up and save a soul from death.
I am sure so many death would have been avoided if the wife would lovingly ask certain questions from the husband to check excesses. Many of them won't be in prisons either of life or that of the authorities if they had listened to the nudgings of the spouses. I am sure my wife was given me to help me and if confronting me on issues of my excesses is a way of putting me on the right tracks, she must be respected and permitted to do her job.
Yet the motives must be clear. Either confronting a boss, a subordinate, a child or a colleague. Love must be the motive and not fear. It must be to arrive at the destination of change and not necessarily at the port of conflicts. Confrontations don't have to degenerate to conflicts and fights but to development and betterment.  And that goal as motive would control the presentation to steer the vehicle to that expected end. Love has a way of confronting issues, that was what made Esther, the queen a saviour. And many servants had saved nations from their raging kings who if not for the gentle confrontation won't know the war was an error.
Frivolous confrontation weakens the effect. And unwise presentations destroys credibility of cautions. When love isn't the motive the result may not always be right, when anger and pride are triggered by confrontation its good to handle things with care and humility afterall when the repercussions of excesses begin to show they come with regrets that make confrontation to be remembered.
And why I need to be confronted please don't spare me. I've had to be confronted and had loved it when done in love out of a good heart. But those who will act it and not talk won't be friends forever. Open rebuke is better than secret love. Open love where confrontation is needed isn't anything but hypocrisy and those who do are more dangerous than serpents.
Who said it's easy to be confronted? The pains are obvious but matured people know that growth comes by correction and corrections don't walk alone all the time, confrontation comes along to drive them home.
I'll isolate the issues around me to see areas where I'd shown neglect and design best ways to curb excesses; and if that requires some confrontation then I'll do it in love for the betterment of all. And if I am the one who needs the confrontation then I'll gently correct myself and drive myself away from the path of confrontation.
Confrontation requires a level of responsibility capable of creating positive effects otherwise seeds of discord may be sown that may blossom to wars. Bitter confrontation to kill or maim isn't what I speak of but such which would bring people back to themselves and enlighten on the path of development and not degeneration. If you have to say it, you just have to say it and say so within correct timing but responsibly and in love. Even if you have to stop your spouse to confront him with the eternal phrase 'I Love You!' And that you must do today! Good morning!
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