Leaving to Cleave

Relationship Friday: Leaving to Cleave

Jesus Christ, in Matthew 19 showed that the marriage in Eden is still the prototype for those pressing into the Kingdom the Father has given to the little flock.

One fundamental precedence set by the story in Genesis chapter 2 is that there will have to be a leaving before cleaving.

[My Offline Bible] Genesis 2
23. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.
24. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

The man leaving his father and his mother precedes cleaving to his wife to become one flesh. I believe the cleaving won't be perfect without the wife doing the same.

Of course, we know that by the time the patriarchs, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob and the fathers of the tribes of Israel started raising families, the precept set in the garden for marriages had been jettisoned. It is understandable that they may not have fully understood the story of Adam and Eve until Moses got the revelation, so we can pardon all the atrocities the fathers commit contrary to what happened in the garden before the fall which Jesus Christ referred to.

One of the things you'll see in most of the fathers of Israel is that they brought women into their father's house, they never left. Isaac was at home with his father when a servant brought a wife to him at the behest of his Father, Abraham. Jacob was the one who left to go serve his uncle and to find a wife. The 12 fathers remained with Jacob even till old age, they never left, rather, their wives came to join them.

But God's original plan was stated in the passage of scripture quoted above. A man shall leave, and I believe a woman also should before cleaving.

Of course, the leaving may not necessarily be a physical leaving, it however connotes a degree of independence of choice and of sustenance. Ability to make independent decisions and to lead life with personal responsibility and accountability. It suggests ability to own one's life's decisions and to be able to stand the consequences. Ability to be able to earn a living and manage earnings for personal and societal responsibilities.

So we see that it's much more than physical leaving. There has to be a socio-economic, emotional and psychological leaving before a proper cleaving can take place.

There must be a practical show of maturity with responsibility that forms the foundation for independence that a new family needs to thrive.

If this can happen under the roof of your parents, then you may not need a physical leaving to cleave. And if it won't happen even if you are a million miles away, then you aren't ready to cleave to a wife or a husband. Physically leaving isn't an indication of the kind of leaving spoken about here.

Leaving doesn't mean a cutting off of relationship with your parents and siblings, but the ability to earn their trust and respect in the choices and decisions you make without them having the fear of you getting into trouble or ruining your life and reputation.

It's possible however that some parents don't ever believe their children are ever good enough to be independent. That's where the child must have to be able to prove to his or her parents that he or she is ready to be independent.

To cleave perfectly with a spouse, there has to be a perfect leaving. The rib removed must go back to its original position without additional tissues.

Think about this. Have you fully left before thinking about cleaving? Is your cleaving having issues because of the status of your leaving?

Revisit and reconsider and put every relationship where it belongs to have the peace your relationship needs to thrive.

Have a great weekend!

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